For the last few days I have been rereading my earlier posts
from this blog. Back in 2009 when I started this I was very excited after the
surgery and the weight dropped dramatically and quickly. From June 4 2008 to
June 4 2009 I lost 130 pounds and went from a size 56 jacket to a 42. My waist
went from 45” to 34”. I was happy and somewhat arrogant about how I looked. I
bought clothing that was so much smaller than I had purchased and it was fun
wearing a medium shirt rather than a 3XL. I weighed less than I had weighed as
a sophomore in high school. I was cooking, teaching cooking classes and was
quite content. I was getting a little grief from my wife at the time about what
a clotheshorse I had become and I believe she was not happy about my
significant weight loss. I believe she was jealous of it. Since I did most of
the cooking and she was eating what I cooked, her weight had gone up while mine
had gone down so quickly. This became a source of conflict and potentially lead
in part to our divorce.
Over time as my body accepted the weight I found that I
started very slowly to gain again. Not anything significant but enough for me
to notice. As it increased over a year or so, I started to become concerned. I
was still trying to eat my eight bites each meal I found that I had started to
eat little things between meals. My stomach cleared the food from the meal and I
felt I could put some more into it. Easy! But as weight continued to be gained,
I became more and more concerned and began looking for some simple answer. The
problem was that there was no simple answer. There was only complexity. As
weight was gained, my blood sugar started increasing and I was returning to a
diabetic life. That was not what I wanted and was the overriding reason I had
the surgery in the first place.
So here we are on June 2, 2013, 5 years out from the date of
my WLS on June 4 2008. And things have changed for me. My weight is back to 220
pounds which is still 80 pounds less than I was but 50 pounds above where I had
been. It has been an increase of about a pound a month since June 2009. A
gradual increase but still, what am I doing? And more importantly what am I doing wrong? I
have to buy XL shirts now and my waist has increased from 34” to 38”. I am not
happy about this process. But more importantly my doctor has put me back on
diabetic medications in an effort to reduce my daily and long term sugar
levels.
I have refocused upon the type and quantity of food at each
meal and particularly focused on what I want to eat (and must not) between
meals. I have focused on riding the stationary bike each morning, eating less
in each meal, and trying to stay busy during the day so I am not tempted to eat
between meals.
My goals are:
1: Stop the weight gain.
2. Start to reduce the weight by about a pound or two per
month.
3: Increase my activity as much as my body will tolerate.
4: Focus on eating my eight bites at the normal meal times.
5. Steel myself from the desire to eat between meals.
6. Be happy and healthy where I am.
So today I have to be confident I can accomplish what I need
to do. To be a healthier person. I be a better man than I have been. So I will
go on with my plans and try to accomplish my goals. Not unrealistic ones, but
ones that can be achieved as long as I have the will.
